Encounter Between Two People Who Can Speak English But Not To Each Other
RING RING
"Hello, Pizza Hut. Carshayoorrockayeeshammam."
"......Hi, I'd like to order a pizza for delivery."
"Yes ma'am. What is your location?"
"Millennium Tower."
"What is your location, m'am?"
"Millennium Tower on Sheikh Zayad Road."
"Where are you located, ma'am?"
".........Dubai."
"Yes ma'am, what is your exact location?"
"Millennium Tower on Sheikh Zayad Road."
"What is your apartment number?"
"xxx4."
"Mobile number please, ma'am."
"I don't have one. I'm calling from a landline."
"You don't have a mobile number, ma'am." [not a question]
"........Right."
"You're calling from a landline."
"....Yes, it's 32-"
"What do you wish to order ma'am?"
"I don't have a menu. Do you have something with everything, you know, the works?"
"What type of pizza do you wish to order, ma'am?"
"Something with everything, please."
"Beef, chicken, vegetables or seafood, ma'am?"
"Oh, um, beef and vegetables."
"Beef, chick-en, ve-ge-tables or seafood, ma'am?" [spaces out the words to be clearer]
"Fine. Beef."
"Do you want Deluxe, Super Deluxe, Hawaiian....? [several other options, delivered top speed]
"Oh. Hawaiian, please."
"That's Hawaiian, ma'am?"
"Yes."
"Hawaiian. Beef and pineapple, ma'am?"
"Ummmm, yes."
"What kind of crust, ma'am?"
"......Thin?" [very hopefully]
"That will be 48 DHS ma'am. 30 minutes. Hawaiian thin crust to Apt. 4104, Millennium Tower."
"Yes, thank-you."
PAUSE
Hubby enters the room.
"What did you get?"
"Hawaiian."
"You know the Hawaiian is really weird here because they don't use pork."
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4 comments:
LOLOLOLOLOLOL............Still laughing!!!
Hi Amy, anonymous is me....ET
Hello, message from Angak:
Old internet joke (1997?)
This is a telephonic exchange between a hotel guest and roomservice
at a hotel in Asia. It was recorded and published in the Far East
Economic Review:
Room Service: "Morny. Ruin sorbees."
Guest : "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service."
RS : "Rye. Ruin sorbees..morny! Djewish to odor sunteen??"
Guest: "Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs."
RS: "Ow July den?"
G: "What??"
RS: "Ow July den - fry, boy, pooch?"
G: "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled, please."
RS: "Ow July dee bayhcem - crease?"
G: "Crisp will be fine"
RS: "Hokay. An San tos?"
G: "What?"
RS: "San tos. July San tos?"
G: "I don't think so"
RS: "No? Judo one toes??"
G: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo one
toes' means."
RS: "Toes! toes!..Why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow singlish mopping we bother?"
G: "English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast. Fine. Yes,
an English muffin will be fine."
RS: "We bother?"
G: "No..just put the bother on the side."
RS: "Wad?"
G: "I mean butter - just put it on the side."
RS: "Copy?"
G: "Sorry?"
RS: "Copy...tea...mill?"
G: "Yes. Coffee please, and that's all."
RS: "One Minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache, crease baychem,
tossy singlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy....rye??"
G: "Whatever you say."
RS: "Tendjewberrymud"
G : "You're welcome"
Keep up the good cultural analysis and writing! TC
Hey, Cam here.
Hope the pizza wasn't anticlimactic after all that hard work.
Once, in Vancouver, Miki got me to order her an earl gray tea because the starbucks clerks could never understand her pronunciation. So I ordered it... and she got a latte. We had a good laugh about that.
Keep the posts comin'.... just discovered your blog and nearly peed myself after reading this one.
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